The fact is, we all have our bad days – they are an intrinsic part of being human.

Whether it's falling out with a close friend, not being able to let go of a past action or hurt, losing your job, overcoming an addiction, or being diagnosed with depression - some days can feel like the end of the world. ‘Feeling Blue’ covers too wide a subject to address everyone’s feelings, but maybe something here will help you reach out as an understanding and loyal friend. I have separated out Job Loss because it's become so common and is one of those situations when you don't know what to say or do.

Depression

What not to say

"You have it so good, why aren't you happy?"

"You have so many things to be thankful for, why are you depressed!"

"Happiness is a choice"

"You think *you've* got problems..."

"Maybe you should take vitamins for your stress."

"You should get off all those pills."

"Things aren't *that* bad, are they?"

"You need to get out more."

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

"Take a hot bath. That's what I always do when I'm upset."

“Well, everyone gets depressed sometimes!"

"You don't *look* depressed!"

"Have you got PMS?"

"Everybody has a bad day now and then."

"The only one you're hurting is yourself."

“You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it."

"Just don't think about it."

"Just wait a few weeks, it'll be over soon."

“Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days."

"You need a boy/girl-friend."

"Have you tried chamomile tea?"

“Go out and get some fresh air... that always makes me feel better."

What to say

"I care."

"You're not alone in this."

"I'm not going to leave/abandon you."

“I love you (if you mean it)."

"It will pass, we can ride it out together."

"When all this is over, I'll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you."

"Hey, you're not crazy!"

"You have so many extraordinary gifts--how can you expect to live an ordinary life?" - from the movie "Little Women" (Marmee to Jo)

"I listen to you talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be."

"I can't really fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion."

“If you need a friend..... (and mean it)"

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