|
If
you only read one piece from Healing Words today, this should be it.
This poem says it all.
Thank you, Kelly, for granting us permission
to share your words to help us to be a better friend to loved ones who are grieving.
Please See Me Through My Tears
By Kelly Osmont
You asked, "How
are you doing?"
As I told you, tears came to my eyes...
and you looked
away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me had drained away.
"How am I doing?"…
I do better when people listen,
though I may shed a tear or two.
These feelings are indescribable.
If you've never
felt them you cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you.
When you look away,
when I’m ignored.
I am again alone
with them.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.
Really,
tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They're nature's way of helping me to heal…
They relieve some of the stress of sadness
I know you fear that asking
How I’m doing
brings me sadness
....but it doesn’t
work that way.
The memory of my
loved one's death will always be with me,
Only a thought away.
My tears make my
loss more visible to you,
but you did not cause this sadness.
It was already
there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless,
not knowing what
to do?
You are not
helpless,
and you don't need
to do a thing but be here for me.
When I feel your
permission to allow my tears to flow,
you’ve helped me.
You need not
speak. Your silence is all I need.
Be patient…do not
fear.
Listening with
your heart to "how I am doing"
validates
what I’m going through,
for when the tears
can freely come I feel lighter.
Talking to you releases
what I've wanted
to say aloud,
clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.
I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyes,
and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing in awhile.
When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots...
because I'm trying to protect you from my tears.
Then we both hurt...
me, because my
feelings are held inside,
causing pain and a shield against our closeness…
and you, because
suddenly we are emotionally distant.
So please, take my hand and see me through my tears...
then we can be close again
Kelly Osmont, MSW, LCSW, is a
psychotherapist with a specialty in grief and loss as well as a
nationally known speaker. We are delighted to be able to offer
you her booklet 'More Than Surviving - caring for yourself while you
grieve'. See Bereavement.
|
